Anyone else into some of this but totally normal irl?

In reality I'm kind, genuine, and very anti misogyny (I'll be honest that stuff still doesn't really get me off), but lately the CNC/fantasy rape gifs and captions make me so fucking hard. I've had so many of my ex's and friends assaulted that id never want this to happen to anyone irl but the idea of forcing a girl to cum so much she gives in and craves being used like that makes me cuuuum