Family wedge in relationship 30f, 30m

TLDR: deciding between boyfriend or family

I ‘30F’ and my boyfriend ‘30M’ have been together nearly two years and living together 10 months.

I have previously been in a long term relationship of 7 years, we actually married and divorced. Before now meeting my current boyfriend. Sort of not relevant other than to say I have made tough decisions before and I know that my current relationship is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I love my boyfriend more than anything, and I’ve never been happier. Except we have been arguing recently about my family.

My family are very mad, and continually make bad decisions and decisions that hurt other people. (Sleeping with people they shouldn’t, drinking too much, getting themselves into debt, always calling me to bail them out of situations they’ve got themselves into by bad planning etc). But they’re also caring people deep down, and more importantly, they are my family.

My bf is pretty much at a crossroad of deciding whether he wants to be with me, the love of his life, meaning he also has to deal with my family mad family, or break up.

We’ve talked about me setting firm boundaries with my family, and we have tried that, but unfortunately it always creeps back to the way it was and me being far too involved.

I agree my family are mad and they drive me insane, but the idea of cutting them off makes me feel like I am isolating myself.

I feel like me and him just have such different upbringings and he will never understand why I defend them the way I do. We didn’t come from money and privilege and therefore we don’t have the same middle class standards that he was raised with.

I just don’t know what to do and how we can move forward, I have been crying all day.

Has anyone cut their family off before and do you feel this worked out? Would I be stupid to cut family off or is prioritising my future and happiness more important?