Holidays and extended family members advice

Hey everyone! I'm a FTM to a 5 month old baby girl. Holidays are coming up and I was wondering what are some traditions that you've started with your kids?

Also I am wondering about how to navigate family on holidays. My mom's birthday is on Christmas Day. So I was thinking of planning an outing or something with her the next day or even just inviting her up too my house on Christmas? She currently has full custody and is adopting my 6 year old niece and she's always came to our house around Christmas time. Not necessarily on that day. Which I would be fine with keeping it that way too! But last year she complained about not coming up to our house on that day. As we asked her about coming up and told her what days we had open (including Christmas Day) and she said she would get back to me. She is notorious for waiting till the day she decides and then telling me she was planning on showing up at X time. My partner talked with his family and they invited us on Christmas Day and that is what my mom was complaining about. As we told her that they invited us that day.

Now to the in laws. MIL & FIL are divorced but still do holidays together sometimes. MIL and I have had some issues regarding boundaries and she also assaulted me 2 weeks before I got pregnant. We have had a discussion regarding boundaries (including the assault) and she has agreed to all of them and apologized. For Christmas, Thanksgiving and Halloween every single year they invite us over on the day of the holidays. We usually don't do Halloween but we have went to their house like 2 times actually on Christmas Day. MIL is also jealous of my mom bc she believes we see her more then MIL. We don't, my mom lives 2 hours away. MIL lives 15min...but recently we have seen my mom more then her due to being LC.

My mom is an introvert and his parents and my parents have never met bc of this and bc my mom had heard what his mom has done to me and the type of person she has shown herself to me as, she never wants to meet them. I think that's also part of MILs issue as well.

What is some advice on these 😅.