nDad hurt our dying dog and I can’t unsee it.

Early last year, I attempted to reconnect with my nDad after 2 years no contact. During that time, our family dog Emily was dying. I went home to see her and she was very near death. It was so hard to watch. Even worse, my nDad was acting awful the whole day, getting annoyed I wasn’t paying enough attention to him and bothered by how attentive my mom and I were being to Emily.

Emily could barely move or eat, but somehow my nDad had carried her outside before my mom and I got home. When it came time for my nDad to carry her back inside, I got a bad feeling in my gut because I could tell she could barely move without being in immense pain. I offered to help gently pick her up, but he told me to go inside and that he could carry her because she was so light now. For some reason, I believed him.

I went inside and when I turned around, he was dragging her across the floor by her arms. It was like she was an object to him. My mom saw and yelled at him to put her down. We both ran to help her and my mom (who rarely speaks up to my dad) told him it was inhumane and cruel what he had done. We both comforted Emily as best we could. My dad laughed it off and said Emily had “looked into his eyes and told him he could do it” and that “she liked it”. He mocked us for being upset. That night, I went home and sobbed and couldn’t sleep. She died two days later.

I’ve never been able to get over it. Later, my mom minimized what happened, and my dad told the story to other family members saying he had gently picked her up and carried her inside, and that I was “twisting the narrative”. My aunt suggested it wasn’t that bad and maybe I had misunderstood the situation. I went back to being no contact with my dad but my mom and other family have been pressuring me to see him again.

I feel like I NEED him to apologize for what he did to Emily or at least admit what he did if I’m ever going to see him again. For some reason, after all the awful stuff he’s done to me, this has become my line in the sand. Maybe because instead of me, it was a helpless animal. Or because he can’t convince me this didn’t happen, unlike a lot of other stuff he’s done to me that was rooted in manipulation and easier to deny. I just don’t understand why my other family members don’t think this is that bad. Even my sister who loved Emily more than anyone has let it go after I told her what he did.

Am I overreacting? And is this a hopeless fight because narcissists don’t apologize? Sorry this is so long and thanks for listening.