Need advice on getting myself situated on big servers

Hello! I'm just coming here to get advice on how others incorporate themselves into developed servers. I don't want to strictly play solo because I really like the community aspect of the game, but I feel like I have no idea what to do once I join a largely developed RP style server. It feels like I'm just really behind everyone and out competed by other shops and whatnot, and there's never any early game resources available without traveling forever. Would it be smart to advance on my own first before joining other cities/towns? Become a resource gathering slave for someone until I find footing? How do you guys do it?