I don’t think I will ever be normal again… was I ever even normal in the first place?

I have done just about every drug out there and I don’t think there is a worse feeling than heroin, fentanyl, or Suboxone withdrawal. I finally got my script after a day and a half of not having them and I was just laying in bed all day thinking this is the rest of my life, my brain is so reliant on opioids now if I stop taking them I will possibly have post withdrawal syndrome for the rest of my life. And I know this is true because every long-term heroin addict I’ve ever met tells me that they still crave it they just don’t give into the temptation and life still feels off to them every day but they get used to it.

Here’s the truth, opiates do make life better. Period. That’s what makes them so harmful is because that isn’t real life, real life isn’t feeling great all the time. and if you fuck with that balance it will come back to get you. Take it from me… I never thought when I took that first 5 mg Percocet after my surgery when I was 12 that it would ever lead to this. I hate to say it but I might be on Suboxone for the rest of my life and I’ve accepted that. It’s either use Suboxone every day to at least feel like I did before I started using or just put up with post withdrawal syndrome every day.