I’m scared and I don’t know what to do

I’m 19 years old and I don’t really know what to do or what to study. I’ve been seeing all my friends transition well into their uni lives. I haven’t done very well in doing that. I picked nursing to compromise with my parents, mind you they are your typical Asian parents. I’ve argued many times about wanting to do want I want to do, design and such. They tell me just do whatever I want to but in a specific tone where it actually means ‘go ahead but we don’t support you’. I love my parents but my future career is one of the topics we can’t discuss without arguing. As of now, I’m struggling with the work not only due to its difficulty (I’m not smart) but also my depression. I know depression is not an excuse but it still affected my workload and how I’d do it. I’ve been told to suck it up and just work harder, so maybe I just need to do that. I don’t know, I’m lost. I wish I were smart and remember things easily lowk. Anyways, this was more of a rant than anything. But I would love tips onto motivating yourself to study and work harder. Thanks for reading.