Will my catastrophizing with my newborn ease?

Not sure what posting on here will help but I feel I need to just write down how I’m feeling and see if anyone else has felt like this. I’m a FTM to a 4 week old and I feel I am always waiting for the bad things to happen. If my LO has a bad spell then I tell myself that this is how they will be for the foreseeable future and if they are good then I’m just waiting for things to turn bad. I can’t enjoy the pockets of lovely moments as I’m always holding my breath in anticipation of something bad happening. I also see so much online about colic and how awful it is that I should just expect it? The poor kid can’t win in my eyes and I hate myself for wishing these weeks away, I know I will regret it. Does this feeling ease?