M4F *Question 4 women*

I just turned 40. My wife & I have been together since I was 23. Basically since we got married (but worse after we had our 1st kid 10 years ago), sex has been an issue. She NEVER wants it... we have argued over it for 10 years, having sex once every 3-4 months... FOR 10 YEARS. We have seen relationship councilors and tried medications.. Im a firefighter with a stressful job, but I stay muscular and clean and I do chores, take care of our kids and do everything I can to take stress off her. I got home from 2 days at the firehouse & sent her a dirty text... just being flirty... and she was just pissed & disgusted. I asked if she ever just gets so horny, she can't stand it...? Like an itch you just can't scratch?!?! She told me today "No". She said she has never felt that way. She admitted to faking acting that way for me when we were young... she used to have sex with me a lot and do crazy things, but she says that was just to keep me...

I think I just realized today that although I love her, I have 3 options:

1. Split up
2. Ask her for an "open marriage" (Which I don't even want... I want her)
3. continue to do this for the rest of my life.

This sucks. She could have been honest with me years ago... before we had 2 kids & built a life...

Im not trying to be an ass, but 10 years of not feeling wanted physically has, for the first time in my life, led me to feel extreme depression and have some dark, fucked up thoughts of suicide... like, if I die on the job, at least her and my kids will be set... and she won't have to deal with me asking for sex, etc...

What thoughts do any of you have?