Nightmare situation

My husband’s sister passed away. We found out on our 1 year wedding anniversary (1 week ago) I had just spent the summer with my husband and his sister. I really liked his sister, she was very kind, buying lots of things for people, making sure her elderly dad had everything in place for him, even though he and the stepmom were absolutely nasty. I now know why she was spending all her money making sure everyone was okay.

It hit me so hard. I was so excited for her to be my sister-in-law. I really liked her and invited her to my country because she said she wanted to travel. Her last text to me when I left said “I know we will see each other again in better circumstances.” (She was referring to the horrific family drama in that house).

My husband had to drive 2000 miles to claim her body, to organize everything, he’s still there trying to clear out her house.

My issue is 1.) it’s absolutely killing me that I can’t be there by his side helping him out. I can’t hug him or comfort him. It’s taking everything in my power to stop myself getting on the next flight. But he says that’s not necessary.

2.) He told me a few days after, he’s processed it and he’s okay now. But me… I’m absolutely traumatized. I can barely eat, I wake up every day in an anxiety attack. I cry about it, every day. In a phone call he’s laughing and joking again, but I’m bursting into tears! So I’ve stopped showing it to him. I feel clingy like I need someone to talk to about it (him) but he’s busy, understandably. I’ve booked myself a therapy session, hopefully I can recover quickly. But I have no right to be so upset, it’s his sister not mine. I only spent time with her for 2 months, he, most of his life. Maybe there is something wrong with me.