Alright, I gotta get this off my chest because the more I think about Toad, the more questions appear. so lets get started. 

Toad lives with Mario, right? He literally lived with Mario since we first saw him. But then he was always at Bowser’s house hanging out with Junior, annoying Chef Pee Pee. Does he somehow live in both houses? Does he have a key to Bowser’s front door? Does he pay rent at both places? HOW is he everywhere at once?  
  
And another thing, Toad used to be Mario’s enemy back in the “Stupid and Dumb Adventures” era. He literally worked for Bowser. But now Mario just… lives with him again like nothing ever happened??

Then we get to Toad’s age. Oh my god, the age. He went to kindergarten and summer school with Junior. That means they’re the same age, right? So since Junior was born in 2007, that would mean Toad was ONE YEAR OLD when he first appeared in 2008. ONE. And somehow this toddler is out here making rap songs, living on his own, driving pink Escalades, and getting jumped by grown adults!

And here’s the wildest part. He has no parents. None. Never mentioned. So who’s signing his permission slips? Who’s enrolling him in school? Who’s forcing him to go to class? Is it the government? Marvin? The IRS? Someone else in the house?? Like, who looked at this hyperactive, milk-addicted child and said "Yeah, this guy needs a public education”?

It gets darker too. In Toad’s Mistake 1, 2, 3, and the remake, Mario, Mama Luigi, Black Yoshi, and Shrek literally beat up and kill Toad. Like not slapstick funny beat-up, they destroy him. They throw him down the stairs, burn his face, and explode him in a microwave. now i know main characters in SML have died and came back to life multiple times, but these are full-grown adults beating up what, a toddler?? If Toad is really the same age as Junior, that means those episodes were basically child abuse with extra steps.

And yet, he’s also somehow treated like an adult when the plot needs him to be. He raps, he goes to parties, he gambles, he apparently lives alone, and he even has a music career. But then in the next episode, he’s sitting in class next to Junior learning the alphabet. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

Then they say Lil’ T was “born in a nice castle in the Mushroom Kingdom,” which is in the wiki, which would imply he’s royal or something, but then he’s suddenly just chilling in Pensacola Florida. He went from living in a castle to living in a duplex with Mario and a talking donkey. What happened?? Did he lose his citizenship? Did the Mushroom Kingdom disown him?

Every time I try to make sense of his life, another contradiction pops up. He is simultaneously alive, dead, kid, adult, friend, enemy, rapper, and victim of multiple homicides. Honestly, at this point, I’m convinced Toad isn’t even one person. He’s like a multiverse anomaly that keeps respawning in different forms every episode he appears in. WHAT IS THE TRUE MEANING BEHIND THIS MONSTER!? 

Okay this was a joke and I did this for fun. So don't think I was being serious about talking mushroom from a funny puppet show. Anyways that's all folks. :)

Toad is the most confusing character in the entirety of SML and i need to talk about it. pls read :)