My Dutch Friends Have Become More and More Intolerant, And I’m Not Sure What To Do About It

So, I (mixed race) have always had a close group of friends in the Netherlands. We’ve been through a lot together, and I always felt like we were pretty open-minded and accepting of each other. However, recently, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend that’s been growing among some of them. They’ve started posting things on social media and making comments that have made me feel really uncomfortable. It’s mainly comments about immigrants and people of color in general.

It started out with little things like how ‘Dutch culture is being eroded.’ by immigrants. But over time, these comments have gotten more and more extreme. One thing that really stuck with me was when some of them posted something along the lines of, “Why is it okay for them to insult us, but when we use the N-word, it’s suddenly a crime?”

I’m not going to lie, this hurt. Not just because of the racist sentiment, but because these are my friends, people I trust and care about. I never thought they had these views. They’re people I’ve known for years, and I never imagined they would lean into such blatantly xenophobic, even racist, positions. And honestly, seeing this on my social media feed made me sick to my stomach. It made me question everything.

Now, I’m at a crossroads. I feel conflicted. On one hand, I don’t want to lose my friends. But on the other hand, I’m realizing that I can’t just ignore this kind of rhetoric. It goes against everything I believe in, and it’s making me question the very foundation of our friendship. I can’t help but wonder: if they feel this way about people who are different from them, how do they feel about me? And even worse, what if they don’t even realize that their views are wrong?

So, here I am, trying to figure out what to do. Is it wrong of me to feel like I need to distance myself from these people? I’m honestly struggling with whether I should cut ties or try to confront them. A part of me feels like it might be overreacting, but another part feels like this is a dealbreaker. I just don’t know if I can keep pretending everything is fine when they’re sharing these kinds of views. Am I being too sensitive or is this something I should really take seriously?

I guess I’m just venting here, but any advice or similar experiences would be really appreciated.