Help with Confirmation Saint

I was set on Saint Monica for a year based on my husband being anti-Catholic, belittling, and having many teens and adult children who struggle with their faith after being raised in an ultra conservative, Evangelical, and Patriarchal home. Also, our OCIA group was large, so we were placed in small groups with names of Saints. My group was the Saint Monica group. He has broken my Rosaries, has hidden OCIA materials, etc. To put it bluntly, my conversion is considered blatant sin in the eyes of the church he attends.

This last summer, we were very close to legal separation and divorce. This was the result of legal and emotional/ verbal abuse issues with him as the perpetrator. He semi-moved out after I called the police and continues to say that this was my over-reacting and was an evil thing to do. Meanwhile, family has shared concerns with me that I don’t need to be with him and they are fearful for our safety. For additional info, he is diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar 2 but is only now open to acknowledging that he has these. I’m struggling with the balance of staying through sickness and in health and keeping my children safe. As there hasn’t been direct physical violence, I can’t file an Order of Protection. When he’s treated and medicated, he does well.

We are in therapy, and my confirmation and reception is in a couple of months. But we’ve come so close to splitting this year, that I’m not sure I want to still have Monica as my confirmation saint.

I’m also considering Mother Seton, as she was also a convert, was shunned for her conversion, was American, had multiple children, was an educator (I’m a nurse but I teach other nurses in my field and former school teacher), she did community based outreach (as do I), and I’ve used some of the materials as an educator from Seton School when I taught elementary, way before I even knew who she was! And her feast day is the day before our wedding anniversary.

But some dear sweet people in my Parish have told me how fitting it is to have Monica as my Saint, call me “There’s the future Saint Monica!” Etc. One sweet elderly man even gifted me a Relic he found and a prayer card for Saint Monica.

This confirmation Saint stuff feels super permanent. And there are days when I think of how close we could be to divorce that I’m not sure if Monica is still fitting. 😔