Ambien, BBC, and Th3_1andonly

For those that work the night shifts, or rotating schedules, quality sleep can be a major issue. Welcome ambien to my life. My psychiatrist recommended it knowing sleep deprivation was not helping my mood. I agreed. Getting back on track after my breakup was more difficult than imagined, and definitely not helped being exhausted.

Now for those that don't know, there seems to be a fine line between it's sedating impact versus euphoric state. How can a pill cause both baffled me. Either way, you learn by trial and error. Too much often led to mornings of death scrolling on reddit with little recognition of what I did when I awakened. The only recollection from reviewing my DMs and history.

New rabbit holes and subreddits were explored likely secondary to my drop in inhibition and curiousty. One of these included men of color, specifically black men. The world was in a bad spot at this time. COVID led to isolation, and the rise of social injustice activism was at it's peak. I'm not one for politics, but it seemed like everyone had an opinion.

I was working, alot, and these matters often arose in the break room. It turns out a few of the nurses there, not many, had dated black men in the past. They were more proactive about change. Now, I had little exposure to blacks having up in a white suburb followed by attending a small private college. But also being a minority, asian, I could relate to some of the things they were mentioning.

My social circle never crossed with anyone of color aside from other Asians and Indians. Not by choice, but by coincidence of my life path. I had exposure to them in public but no real connections.

Some talk with the nurses would turn more playful highlighting the typical stereotypes. But stereotypes exist for a reason, so I wasn't completely dismissive of them. Having gained some weight and getting my boobs done, I also felt of similar proportion to these coworkers now making it easier to imagine myself with such a man.

After my shifts, alone and quarantined, I would pop my ambien and enter my reddit world. Pulling up images of black men, and exploring. Often, I would use my rabbit vibrator equipped with ears and pearls to pleasure myself. Adjusting speeds to my satisfaction at the moment. The magic combination was always just a minute of high intensity followed by low to medium. The rotating pearls were my favorite, instantly setting me off to a higher level of euphoria than I was already experiencing from a pharmacological standpoint. The sensation was ecstatic, causing fantastic orgasms beyond belief.

Despite this, I longed for a deeper interaction. Playtime was fun, but left a void after. Enter The_1andonly. We had interacted prior, when I was with my ex bf and looking for a third. But he was too far geographically, and I wasn't single either. That didnt stop some flirting chats though it was never more than that.

Honestly I can't remember how our reconnection occurred having some brain fog from the sleeping pills, but I haven't forgotten its impact. Lust at first site once again. Reddit is full of beautiful people, but some hit you harder than others. And he sure did at this time. Still as fine as ever. Light chocolate skin, tall, and muscles everywhere. Not icky bodybuilder muscles, but see and eye ones. Well developed pecs, biceps, and a flat stomach. Unique, to me, long dreadlocks with full lips and a gorgeous smile. A strong chin and broad shoulders to top it off. And of course, a BBC, which I would find out later was just a sliver below 8 inches in length. Perfection.

Yearning for attention I reached out via DM. Having spied on his comments, I knew he got plenty of attention so was unsure of a potential response, especially after my disappearance for awhile. But to my delight, he remembered me sparking a renewed interest. There is nothing as alluring as the discovery phase of a relationship. Some develop nicely, some end quickly depending on the ebb and flow. We had great chemistry on every level.

It didn't take long before we were having an online partnership. Unlike my ex, he was very acknowledging and sweet. Not controlling, and encouraged me to be myself. I was developing feelings for a man I never even touched. But he didn't need to, because mentally it felt real.

I would share pics with him, trying different angles of my body. He saw all of me, and I did of him. Two naked souls hooking up in an isolated world. I would imagine the skin contrast as he sexted me. How his body felt, how he smelt, and how he tasted. How much of his BBC I could take in my mouth, or even better, how different it would feel in my 😺. I'm not naive enough to think it would be any different than a man of other skin color, but psychologically it did. My first black man, breaking down barriers I never knew existed. I felt naughtier and more excited than anytime in my life. I imagined he fucked me deeper, fucked me harder, and fucked me better than anyone before. My orgasms, compliments of my rabbit, confirmed that.

And it was intoxicating. My drive was at an all time high, and his willingness to satisfy everytime was a testament to his stamina and manliness. He delivered 💯 percent, always. Sexual fantasies led to one's more of a future relationship. If not him because of the distance, possibly a different black man. A whole new dating pool emerged which I was eager to discover. The time of separating fantasy from reality was ending. I had to know IRL if it was the same. Reddit was replaced by Bumble, and Liz was back in the dating scene.