Today I froze on the front steps of my job, and sobbed.

I was going into my job, as a sample salesman. I felt myself slow as I crossed the parking lot, and an immense dread fill my body. I was about 100 ft from the entrance, when I felt myself freeze. Tears were streaming down my face, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get my body to move. I stood there for minutes, then finally broke and walked away.

I found a tree, and used my inhaler to stop my asthma attack. Eventually they called me, and I told them what happened. They were pretty understanding, I still have my job, and I'll be working again tomorrow.

I guess I just couldn't stomach the thought to be inside the store today. I didn't want to perceive anymore. I didn't want to hear, see, speak, or think. I didn't want to die, I don't want to die, I just didn't want to feel sensations anymore.

I'm heading to bed, I think I need a nap.

Much love 🫀