I am doing everything I can in this fucking job and never fucking enough

Just for once appreciate what I am fucking doing. Like for fucks sake, I have been at it for 10 months working in every aspect of this job. Doing more and more every day to get better and it is not enough.

HOW FUCKING IRONIC THAT I AM TYPING THIS AFTER BEING ORDERED TO NOT WORK TODAY BECAUSE I AM A FUCKING WASTE OF RESOURCE AND IT IS THE FUCKING SAME IF I WORKED OR NOT

I want to be seen and appreciated.

I have loved this job from the bottom of my heart and I am attached to it and the people working there, why did you make it like this ?

I am sad and frustrated at everything right now.