TIFU by accidentally joining my company's Zoom meeting while having very loud sex

This literally just happened 3 hours ago and I'm currently hiding in my bedroom trying to figure out if I still have a job.

I work from home. Have for the last 2 years. My girlfriend also works from home. We have a pretty good system - I work in the home office, she works at the dining room table, we stay out of each other's way during work hours.

Today I had a big department meeting scheduled for 2pm. Like 40 people including the CEO. Important quarterly review thing. I had it on my calendar for weeks.

This morning my girlfriend texted me that she was finishing work early and was going to take a nap. Cool, whatever. I'm working, she's napping, normal day.

Around 1:45pm she comes into my office. She's clearly not trying to nap anymore. One thing leads to another. We're both working from home, no meetings until 2pm, we've got time.

Here's where I fucked up.

We're in the middle of things. Going at it pretty enthusiastically. She's being... vocal. I'm not exactly quiet either. It's 1:55pm but I'm not thinking about time because I'm busy.

Apparently at some point during this my cat walked across my laptop keyboard.

My Zoom app auto-opened and I was somehow connected to the 2pm meeting.

With my camera on.

And my microphone on.

I don't know how long we were broadcasting before I noticed. Could have been 30 seconds. Could have been 5 minutes. I genuinely don't know.

What I DO know is that I looked over at my desk at some point and saw my laptop screen showing a grid of 40+ faces all staring in horror.

I have never moved so fast in my life. Jumped off the bed, slammed the laptop closed, started screaming "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD."

My girlfriend is asking what's wrong. I'm trying to explain while also scrambling to put pants on. She looks at the laptop and goes completely pale.

I opened the laptop again. The meeting is still going. I'm disconnected now but the chat is EXPLODING. People are saying "omg" and "did that just happen" and "someone disconnect him."

My boss sent me a private message: "We need to talk. Now."

I tried to rejoin the meeting to apologize. My access was disabled.

I called my boss. It went to voicemail. I texted him. No response.

I sent an email to him and HR explaining what happened. That it was a complete accident. That my cat stepped on my keyboard. That I had no idea I was connected.

HR responded within 10 minutes asking me to be available for a call tomorrow morning.

My girlfriend is mortified. She's asking if she needs to be on the call. I don't even know.

I've been with this company for 4 years. I had good performance reviews. I was up for a promotion next quarter.

And now 40+ people including the CEO have seen and heard me having sex.

I don't know if I'm fired. I don't know if I can ever show my face on another Zoom call. I don't know if this is a fireable offense or just the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me.

My brother thinks it's hilarious. My girlfriend is crying. I'm having a panic attack.

I was supposed to present during that meeting. I had slides prepared. Instead I gave everyone an entirely different kind of presentation.

I can never recover from this.

TL;DR: Had sex with my girlfriend during work hours, my cat walked on my laptop and somehow joined me to my company's 40+ person Zoom meeting with camera and audio on, broadcasted an unknown amount of time before I noticed, now waiting to hear if I'm fired.