Indie song - lyric clip on YouTube, honest feedback?

I would love to know what you think about these lyrics. They occur to me at work, on the street or at home and I write them down in my notepad... And then I use suno to give them a voice... It is not professional, but it is entertainment that I would sincerely like to share. I would like to know what mistakes you made or what you would change...

Complete on YouTube - https://youtu.be/urYqTcT95Js?si=5UAK1bbozxsLwYjl

Do you think it can get hooked? Or do I jump into a river? 🥹