This break up makes no sense

I am praying and praying that I get over him one day. I had to to go on anti depressants to stop being so anxious and low and they’ve helped a bit.

We are both in our 30s, had what I thought was a great and loving relationship, he talked to me about marriage and his family loved me. After a year he completely blindsided me and said he wanted to break up and never loved me (why did he say he did so many times then??) and just disappeared from my life overnight. He didn’t even want to have a conversation at the end. It was over in 20 minutes, while he packed his stuff.

It’s been two months.

I go to the gym just to make sure I don’t sit at home and overthink. I don’t have lots of friends here I’m in a new country. I feel so scared and sad for the future.