I'm scared of Srs but hate my male parts

I'm a 16yo transgirl. Starting estrogen in a little under 2 weeks. I hate my male parts really really bad. But I have a really big fear of Srs. Like I'm just gonna have a hole there and nothing else like a literal just opening. The thought is scary. It's really my obsessive thoughts thingy (not OCD but similar). How do I overcome this fear. Do I just keep my parts?

And I don't mean any of this to sound insensitive it's just my brain, I get obsessive over stuff.