Gusto kong huminga

Hello!

Gusto ko lang i-share dito what I am going through kasi I feel a lot of shame. Breadwinner. You know the story. Pero I am in a big amount of debt. Ayaw ko na rin i-discuss yung amount kasi nahihiya na ko. Feeling ko mapagpanggap na ko.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko i-coconstruct ang kwento pero free flow na lang ako. I do it for the family. I do it din for myself. I’m in a lifestyle I can’t maintain but I do it anyway. Hindi naman sa sugal. But more of healing thy inner child ang drama.

Siguro ganito yung feeling. Na mabili mo yung gusto mo nung hinahangad mo nung bata ka. Hindi ko alam if partly to blame ang aking mental illness for being impulsive.

I pray to God na magbago ako pero parang I can’t. I pray that I get to sustain my family and I am happy to see that pero I feel the burden as well.

Please pray for me. I am struggling. I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Please, pray for me.