I caught feelings for someone I’m not supposed to like, and now I don’t know what to do

I’m part of an institution where our team leader strictly forbids us from liking or getting romantically involved with someone in the same position. The rule was made to avoid conflicts and complications within the team, and I completely understood and agreed with it—at least before all this happened.

At first, I honestly didn’t like this certain person at all. I’d even heard a lot of bad things about him, though later on, I found out some of those weren’t true. But as time went on and we started spending more time together, I somehow ended up developing feelings for him.

What’s funny is that before I even liked him, there was this one time when he chatted me first. I mean, first. And he’s not the type to message people at all since he’s usually quiet and stoic. We ended up chatting for a while about my other institution, but during that time, I didn’t like him yet. I remember not having the motivation to chat back, so I just reacted to his message instead of replying. Now I keep regretting that, because it was a replyable chat and I can’t help but think about what could’ve happened if I had actually responded.

Now I’m torn. I know it’s against the rules, and I keep reminding myself of the reasons why, but I can’t help how I feel. Ever since I realized my feelings, I’ve started to distance myself from him and even from the institution in general. We weren’t that close to begin with, but my teammates have noticed how I’ve been acting more distant lately.

Whenever we get partnered up, I find excuses to avoid it. It’s like I’m trying to protect myself from something that shouldn’t even be happening.

I don’t know what to do. Should I keep suppressing these feelings until they fade, or should I just accept them even if I can’t act on them?