Advice on Mental Health

I’m 7 days post-op today from a BL, TT with muscle repair and monsplasty. It’s been a rough week for sure, last couple of days were good and then I may have slightly over done it yesterday so a bit more swollen today.

I’m just struggling with my mental health. I feel like I look worse, that the results won’t be anything close to what I’ve seen in pictures or on here, or in my mind (trying to be realistic)

I know it gets way better with time but I just seem to be having a hard time finding the light at the end of the tunnel. Some days all I do is cry.

My surgeon says I’m healing incredibly quickly, minimal to no bruising and only had 1 tiny spot open up, which is already closing. But I just can’t see it, I can’t look at myself in the mirror because honestly I’m disgusted with myself. I’m sorry is this doesn’t belong. I’m just having a hard time and hoping someone out there has either felt this way or has some advice on how to try to feel better.

I’m thinking I need to see a therapist, to talk this out, because I’m not sure it’ll get any better. I have bad thoughts constantly so I think it’s better to talk to someone about them before I do something stupid. Sorry for the rant, just needed to let it out somewhere. Thanks for reading.