It's been 3 years na ma..

It’s been 3 years since you suddenly got sick. 46 days ka sa ICU, and every day we were hoping you’d get better. Pero one day, your body just gave up. Maybe pagod ka na rin talaga.

Honestly, during that time, I didn’t even have the chance to cry. Wala eh, panganay ako. I had to be strong for everyone. Si Papa, strong personality niya, but I saw how broken he was. And when you finally left, I still couldn’t grieve. I had to make decisions, fix things, be “okay.”

It was hard. It still is. Everyone sees me as the strong one, but truth is, ang bigat pa rin hanggang ngayon.

It’s been 3 years, pero ramdam ko pa rin yung sakit. Miss na miss na kita, Ma.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this here. Maybe I just needed to let it out. I guess grief never really goes away, you just learn to carry it quietly.