Reasons for conditional release

Im tryna go Reserves ro Active duty.

My S1 helped me with 4856. She said she will rewrite my reasons to make it better... but I really dont think its any better, probably worse. Because I did include a reason about my financial situation... but she removed that part thinking the commanders won't like if I talk about money. So my reasons for wanting to go active were mostly about my strong desire and motivation lol Do you think ill get rejected?