I fell for him because he was the first one to notice

I realized just now that my ex-husband was the first person outside of family to notice what I liked, what I was interested in and then accommodated that.

I'm the type of person who usually tries to understand and observe my friends and people I'm around. I mirror them, I try to speak their language, and give them grace. Whether its noticing that my friend likes a particular drink, or another one likes a particular home item or whether they like birthdays or not, whether the are emotional about some things. But I just realized it's not common for others to do that for me. My friends are very sweet and they show care in their own way.

But one of my closest friends recently told me on my birthday how hard it is to find a gift for me, and that she couldnt tell what exactly I liked. It made me feel a little funny because I remember everything she says, does, wants and doesnt want. She got me a really nice gift that was relevant to me and snacks that she liked so I appreciated that alot and Im not complaining here - i know she loves me and cares for me. But i hadn't realized how people dont read me the way I read them.

And I fell for my ex-husband because he used to observe and remember what I liked and disliked during the courting stage. He would do that even after marriage where he would get me a specific box of biscuits bc he knew I liked them. BUT He was emotionally abusive, manipulative and had basically scammed me into marriage - that's another story - but it just hit me that i had ignored some red flags of my ex husband because he had done the one thing that people rarely did for me - be considerate and a landing space for me. Too bad it came with landmines lol.

I'm not sure why I'm sharing this here but I feel a little sad. I can't help but feel like with time i'm losing people. And i'm not sure if its me or what.