I feel like my future is bleak.

I'm a 25 year old male, currently unemployed, and still living at home. I've had a stuttering problem since I was a child, and it's worsened as I've grown up into adulthood.

After high school, I struggled finding a job. Interviews made me nervous, because I felt I was being judged for the way that I speak. I believe that fear spilled over into my everyday life, and it worsened my anxiety. At this time, my stuttering had become more severe than it ever was.

For the last few years, I've been "underemployed". I'II get a job, it doesn't last, and then I spend months, a year, or sometimes longer unemployed. I've been micromanaged, talked down to, and met with hostility at almost every job l've had.

I try not to victimize myself and take accountability when I can, but I believe I experience these things because of my speech. I believe that since I stutter and am a bit awkward, people perceive that as unintelligence and treat me with less patience and respect. At the end of the day, nobody should come to work and be monitored, yelled at, humiliated in front of coworkers, and made to feel like everything you do is wrong-but unfortunately that's been my reality in several instances.

Without stable employment, it's just incredibly hard to try to build a life for yourself and step into adulthood. I feel like I've been stuck in the same spot after high school, while everyone my age seems to be progressing through life. I know you aren't supposed to compare, but it's hard not to feel like shit when you aren't even doing the bare minimum. I'm broke, unemployed, don't have a car, and obviously can't afford to live on my own. I just feel like such a failure in so many areas.

I want to get back to work and try to move forward with my life more than anything right now. It's not that I'm lazy or not trying hard enough. I've been unemployed for a year and I feel like I'm doing everything I can to turn things around. I'm applying to hundreds of jobs, reaching out to temp agencies, utilizing community resources, but nothing is working.

I'm taking classes at my community college again, and I'm currently studying Supply Chain Management. I'm hoping that having a degree will open up more opportunities for jobs in my area, but | also feel like it's a waste of time. My biggest fear is that I finish school, get the certifications, and then nobody still wants to hire me after all that.

I'm just feeling hopeless at this point, and I feel I'm never going to experience a normal life, despite how hard I fight.