Person called jake

The person called Jake has Come into my office. He has the sign of the joker and I think he smoke weed but he does not follow the dope smokers creed. He has insinuated when he Jake is going to the pub that I prefer the wacky backy and I think he might be baking fun of Me and this could be a prejudice of the dope smoker but HR has not helped me her before.

Today was the final straw that broke the Jake keeps going about things the wrong Way and he is using python but I have told him the merchandisers don’t have Python. He wants access to things that he doesn’t need access to. He knows I am the head of spreadsheets so he today he was calling himself the head of microsoft products but I know That this is not his official title and I think that overlaps too much with my tile and he said not to worry because there are spreadsheets that aren’t microsoft. Well I think he is doing it to joke on me.

Has anyone else encountered the person called Jake as Jake or in one of his disguises. How to Make him go away