I don’t know my mbti, however…

I believe INFJs have the kindest souls. I feel a little bit too lonely, and unfortunately I am tired to write about my feelings to my diary, or inspire from them to write poems. I feel like I have no one to talk, so I just wanted to ask your kind, precious advice. I hope I would never waste your time, or trigger you. ever since the first grade of uni, nobody wants to talk to me unless they need urgent help or, even don’t just want to talk about anything. I know i appear cold and socially weird for them. when they talk about asking me for something, i become their inside joke and it kind of feels like they bully me. i don’t know, i know i’m not a social person but i didn’t want to become someone like how I am now. i feel incompetent. i feel like everybody hates me. i envy people who show the people that they care about them. i can’t show even though i do. and even if I do, it’s always a bit too much. i always feel like i am not enough. i either people-please, or isolate myself to death. i am afraid. have you ever felt this way before?