Feeling Lost, Looking for a Friend to Talk To

Hey there!

Sometimes, it's comforting to start with a simple hello—especially before the metaphorical redwood falls.

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TL;DR

30s, divorced parent of two amazing kids. Diagnosed with ADHD, grew up in a toxic home, and have worked hard to grow and learn from my past. Currently going through a really tough time—lost my job, about to lose my house, and struggling to stay afloat. Just looking for someone to talk to, someone who can remind me that it’s going to be okay.

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If you’re still with me, here’s a bit more about me and what's going on.

I like to think of myself as a generally chipper person, but life hasn’t exactly handed me the best lemons. My childhood was... difficult, to say the least. I was raised in a strict, religious household under the control of a narcissistic parent. Their voice still lives in my head, constantly whispering that I’m worthless, that I don’t care about anything. For years, I fought against that anxious and negative part of me, trying to fix myself.

But at some point, I realized I can’t fight it anymore. Instead, I’ve started to accept that this part of me exists—it’s a product of my environment. And you know what? That’s okay. I’ve forgiven my parents, even if they’ll never extend that same forgiveness to me. I’ve grown to appreciate every lesson I’ve learned along the way. Life teaches you two things: what to do and what not to do.

Not every experience is perfect or golden, but storms never last forever.

Unless you live on Jupiter.

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Which brings me to why I’m writing this now.

I’ve hit a rough patch. I lost my job and, soon, I’m going to lose my house. Worst of all, I’m terrified of losing my ability to care for my kids. It’s been weighing on me heavily. So much so, I’ve found myself wandering into some very dark thoughts.

Normally, I’m good at finding the light at the end of the tunnel, at seeing the forest through the trees. But this time? I don’t see it. I don’t know how fast or how far I’m falling anymore.

I just need someone to talk to—a friend. Someone who will remind me that it’s going to be okay, even if they’re lying.

Because right now? I’m not strong enough to do this alone. But I’m here, reaching out, hoping to find someone who can remind me that it’s going to be okay.

If you got this far, I owe you a bubble tea (or your drink of choice)! Thank you.