People who grew up with a disabled parent tell me your story and give me advice!

I’m a disabled mother of 2. One 10 year old daughter and a 19 month old son. I have CNS lupus that causes autoimmune encephalitis, strokes, seizures, etc. Very traumatic stuff. I also am immune deficient (i don’t make igg) and have connective tissue disease and a hole in my heart.

Needless to say the 10 year old watched a lot of this play out i’m worried about her.

I nearly died several times the last 3 years.

Recently we got me out of deaths door and just into severely but chronically ill.

I want to prevent the damage to my son my daughter experienced- not that i had total say over it some times you seizure and you don’t get to hide that :/

My son is in full time day care due to my illnesses, and i have an inhome nurse etc.

But i’m just wondering from a kids point of view what was is like for 1- to grow up with a parent that became disabled and 2- to be born to a parent already disabled like my son will have never known the healthy version of me

what things did they do that helped? what things made it harder?

And any other wisdom you have.