im sick and tired of wanting to be groomed

i hate the feeling so much. im so unlovable with my own age range, i just burden everyone with my problems. i have parental issues and i hate the thought of someone replacing them, but i need that attention. im so disgusted with myself, i dont even feel like people should feel bad for me because i seek it out, i feel like its my fault. i dont know how to get rid of this feeling, i miss being groomed. i cant tell my psychologist or anyone because of how ashamed i am. i try to distract myself but im so lonely. i dont know what to do anymore