Brother im feel I should say this

To you nd I know you're not really One for social media, neither am I. But lately I feel like That's the only thing that I have to turn to seems like nowadays, you and most of our friends are gone. The ones that are still here. They don't have real much interest in knowing what's going on with us as hard as I try they never seem to reach out to me to lmk what's going on with them understandable, though cuz I really don't want them to worry about me and I know it may sound selfish, of me, but I really don't want a funeral, so I'm not going to have anybody show up. If something were to happen to me, basically, no one's gonna know Is it gonna be a select few that may know? But that's about it. I'm not having anybody show up from my death. Anyways, this isn't about mine.It's about yours, man im so sorry I wish I didn't fall asleep I told you several times to go to the the fuckin hospital I should have made her take you and me so you weren't alone im sorry bro I fuckin hate myself but I told you, your body was shutting down. You drank too much i understand you were in a lot of pain, trust me. I know I talked about it with you. For a long time. I understood how depressed you were but the way you left it really hurt. You seriously got me sitting here crying like a little b**** you dink but I wish I just listened to myself f****** forced you to go i despise myself for not. I really am so sorry brother I really hope that you can forgive me someday I love you brother nd please remember I am torn from you leaving 💔 feels like a gigantic hole i hope to see you again to tell you how fuckin sorry I am