32, but feel like I have the mind and air of a teenager

Hi all! I am new to this subreddit! Looking forward to interacting with yall.

I got my diagnosis 2 years ago. While it made sense…. It kind of felt set and stone that people were just never gonna really feel safe for me. I often felt “off” with people. They always commented on how strange or weird I was. Or wouldn’t know how to respond to things or interact with me. And I very rarely found people that made me feel “normal” for lack of a better word.

Now I am mostly friendless with the exception of my spouse who is my best friend. But I otherwise don’t interact with my family much and have a hard time finding solid interactions with others.

A lot of people see me and read me immediately as a teenager. I have even had 18 year olds think I was their age, but when older folks interact with me they actually treat me like a child before I can fester up the energy to tell them KINDLY that I am 32. But people have talked over me or “on my behalf” to say my mother or a long distance friend in person if that makes sense?

And especially in healthcare spaces, most of what I say doesn’t seem to be taken as seriously as if it were my spouse. I feel talked down to a lot of times? Of course my inkling is always that it’s just me… but do other fellow autists feel like a lot of people do this?

I am also not sure if there is a significant difference when it comes to your perceived gender? I am perceived sometimes as a girl, and receive that infantilizing treatment. And when I am perceived as a boy, I feel as though I am kind of seen as defiant or offputting.

Anywho, I hope it isn’t just me 😭