You don’t have to constantly share your opinion that daycare is bad for kids

Like do people get paid to say this as much as possible?

I met up with a friend and her new baby the other day and she said it 3 times in 2 hours. Something along the lines of “I hope I don’t have to go back to work, i really don’t want someone else to raise my baby” I reminded her 3 times my kid is in daycare and thriving and he isn’t being raised by the daycare provider.

Texting with a different friend today who was telling me it’s good I have an 18 month mat leave (we were talking about families and work) then unprompted she says “I personally think moms should have to stay home until kids are in school anyways” um, okay. You know my son is in daycare. This isn’t the first time she’s said that. She doesn’t have kids.

A third friend of mine shared a post about how hard being a SAHM is, but how she wouldn’t trade it for the world because she gets to “raise her own kids.”

Like it’s fucking insulting. I am raising my children. My son absolutely loves his private home daycare. He asks to see his friends there all the time. Hes in daycare 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. He’s at home with me for 2+ hours in the morning between waking up and leaving for daycare, and 4 hours in the evening before bedtime. He’s home with me all weekend.

I am teaching him how to share, how to treat his baby sister and dog, how to use manners, I am feeding him, changing his diapers, potty training him, I am buying his clothes and toys and taking him on outings every weekend, I am teaching him how to pick up and put away his toys, I read to him every single day, I play with him every single day. I take an interest in his interests, I enroll him in sports and activities, I take him to see his friends and cousins and I encourage and foster those relationships. I am teaching him about family, routines, kindness. I am teaching and modelling emotional regulation. I take him to restaurants and shops and help him learn how to behave in public. I encourage him to help others. I encourage the relationships he has with his grandparents, I cuddle with him, I make his favourite snacks.

I’m raising my fucking kid. Stop acting like daycare means you’re just not raising your kid. It’s insulting.

I could pull my kid out of daycare temporarily and fuck myself out of a great job when this second mat leave ends, a job that will help us afford vacations and his sports involvement and his new clothes and the roof over our heads in the nice neighborhood he gets to play in. But I’m not pulling him because I know his daycare is good for him. He loves going there, he has fun and learns plenty. He’s great with other kids and he’s confident and outgoing. So he’s staying in daycare. I am not a lazy mom or a shitty mom for choosing that.

And also, so many women don’t get a choice. I wish women would stop bringing it up. Put your kids in daycare, don’t, I don’t care. Just focus on what you are doing as a parent and support others instead of giving unhelpful “advice” or guilt trips.