My friends left me when I needed them

I had a lot of friends and I did everything for them but when I needed them, no one was there for me. When I told them about my suicidal tendencies, they all ghosted me. I kept it a secret until I couldn’t take it, I thought my last attempt will be successful and I chose to tell them hoping for the last time, I’ll get to hear“I care” but and it shocked me seeing that they didn’t care. I regret taking those friendships seriously. I regret being there for them. I treated them like how a mom treats their child yet I got betrayal. I can’t stop thinking about it and I hate myself for being so dumb, the universe showed me multiple times but I kept trusting people. There were 2 girls whom I thought were real, they seemed different than others but they were worst than everyone else. They made up lies, I believe it and used me, I didn’t notice their real face until I was left alone at my lowest moments and they were enjoying their lives lol. I’m stupid and hate myself for helping them. I have so much hate for them. I wish I could say something to them. They didn’t deserve me.