So much of my life is spent waiting for my boyfriend to shit.

I feel like it’s honestly just a right of passage as a man that you all shit SO much. But my boyfriend legitimately shits 3-4 times a day, every single day. We literally cannot leave the house to go anywhere without him sitting and trying to shit before we leave. When we go out to eat, we have to come home first so he can shit before we go anywhere else. It’s literally like our entire schedule and life depends on him shitting. He will eat dinner, and not even 15 minutes later, be like, “I’m gonna go sit.” And he goes and sits on the toilet for at least 30 minutes. I have begged him to go to a GI doctor because this isn’t normal, and he swears whenever he eats healthy, he doesn’t have these issues but that’s a lie, he eats healthy 90% of the time and when I say healthy, I mean this man eats ground beef, rice, and some type of veggie with very little seasoning every single week day. He shits right when he wakes up. He shits when he gets home from work. He shits after dinner. He shits before bed. It’s honestly so fucking irritating that we’re always going to be late everywhere we go for the rest of our lives together because I’m waiting for him to take a shit. He just texted me that he thinks the black beans he’s been eating for dinner have caused him to have diarrhea for 2 full weeks. I am going to fucking scream.