Dear U_______

After every situationship ends, why do I always come back to thoughts of you? After four years of avoiding relationships, why was I still searching for someone who could love me the way you once did? I keep trying to find that feeling again, but it never comes. People fill the void for a few days and then leave, as if I never mattered. And every time they do, I realize it was never really them I missed, it was you, the way you made me feel, and the version of myself I was when I was with you.

I don’t even feel bad or heartbroken anymore, because I’ve stopped keeping expectations from people. I just let things be. Losing you wasn’t in my control, and losing them isn’t either. Maybe that’s what peace really is, accepting what leaves, without trying to hold on.