7 Year relationship gone

Long distance (2 hours) for 3 years and I would visit her every weekend whilst I was at university, she then moved in with me for my final year and then once I finished university I temporarily moved into her parents whilst I was looking for a job. It took me nearly 18 months to find a great job and we agreed at the 6 month mark we will look for our own place (after passing probation) and she wished me luck for my probation review and I passed but then the next day she ended the relationship.

Unfortunately only just learnt about attachment styles and my ex massively points towards being a mix of FA / DA...

• Hot and cold - one day she will be happy and the next not so much, it wouldn't always be fixated on me and it could be on friends / family too.
• Stonewalling - even very small disagreements I would get the silent treatment for 24 hours
• Conflict - every conflict similarly to the stonewalling I would need to give hours of space before she would even think about talking
• Emotions push her away - two weeks before breaking up with me my dog who I have had for 15 years since I was a kid passed away and I became emotional and insecure over the phone to her and asked her 'are we still going to be together' and she pushed me away and said 'I can't deal with your emotions' and wanted to hang up the phone before I calmed her down
• Eggshells - she was very fiery and seemingly always ready for a fight which made me walk on eggshells.
• Magnifying conflict - small disagreements would be 10x for no reason which then lead her to run away and throw tantrums and I would need to give her space
• Zero compromise - everything her way, a week after my dog passed away I was very low and wanted to get another one and mentioned a specific dog breed and she got mad and actually said that was the reason for the breakup
• Sabotage - she sometimes created conflict when she had to do something she didn't like such as visit my parents and then once the weekend was over she would come back like normal
• Good times then cold - nice weekend away and then she would be very blunt over text and ghost for a few days thinking she was never coming back
• Low libido - always me initiating and if I didn't we would go months without sex, then when we did do it apparently it was hurting so we would only do 10 minutes max

I wish I had realised the red flags from the start but clearly I didn't, when she said about breaking up I fully agreed and thought it would be a good idea as I was clearly hurting inside without knowing but then the next day I was upset as it would obviously be the last time with her, she dropped me off at the train station and I said 'is this it?' she said 'I don't have anything to say' so I left the car crying - she then rang me crying saying 'I don't want you to hate me' and I said 'I don't hate you it's life' and that was that.

I needed to pick my stuff up from hers so I left it two weeks NC and in that period she wished my Mum happy birthday (even though they weren't close and she probably visited 3x a year) so I thought she might be having second thoughts. I then got my stuff from hers and I said maybe we can have coffee and look at dating again and try to revive the relationship and she kept saying 'I don't know' and 'I'm not sure' and wouldn't give me a definite answer so I just left.

As an anxious the lack of intimacy made me pull away massively which could of led to the death of the relationship but I can't help but blame myself even though I realise it wasn't fully my fault. The thought of her getting with a new guy and being happy is killing me.