My boyfriend (27M) frequently insults random women’s looks, and I’m starting to worry about what it says about how he views women overall (27F)

My boyfriend (27M) and I (27F) have been together for almost a year.

He frequently makes unsolicited negative comments about other women’s appearances - strangers online, women in YouTube videos, even old acquaintances I show him on Instagram (for reasons unrelated to their looks). He’ll say things like “she’s ugly,” “she looks masculine,” “her face scares me,” etc.

He never makes comments like this about men. When I asked him why, he said it’s because “he’s not attracted to men so he doesn’t feel anything about their appearance.” But I don’t really understand why “not feeling attraction” translates into active insults, especially when no one brought looks up in the first place.

The incident that really unsettled me was recently when we watched a TikTok of a woman making a joke about men being bad at dirty talk. Out of nowhere he muttered “oh shut the f*** up, b****,” and when I reacted, he doubled down and called her an “attention-seeking wh***.” If a man made a gender-generalizing joke, I can’t picture him reacting even remotely like that.

I’m starting to feel worried that this isn’t about random women - it might reflect how he views women as a group, and that’s what scares me. I’m wondering if this is a sign of underlying resentment or misogynistic thinking that could surface toward me eventually, especially if I ever gain weight, age, or don’t look how he prefers.

I guess what I need perspective on is:

Is this the kind of behavior that tends to escalate or reveal deeper beliefs over time?

TL;DR: My boyfriend insults random women’s looks constantly but he never talks this way about men. I’m starting to worry this reflects deeper attitudes toward women and may eventually be directed at me. Is this a relationship red flag I should take seriously?

Posted Oct 28, 2025, 4:51 PM UTC · locked

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