Being an adopted child ruined my life and I have nobody to talk to about it

I obviously can't talk to my adoptive parents about it cause they'll be hurt and they don't want to listen, but it's ruined my life so bad and it's making everything unbearable for me. Just the fact that I will never see my bio mother or know who she is or anything makes me so sad that I can't even know what she named me or what family I was born into.

I hate it because I see myself every day and it's not someone I want to be because every day I have seen my adoptive family who have parents and siblings and cousins who look at themselves and they don't look foreign because they share traits. And everything about my face and my body is foreign to be because it shouldn't be what I look like? I was raised without understanding adoptive/biological concept so I should look like my parents right?

And I didn't, and it made me get so dysphoric and anxious every day because this person I grew into isn't who I was supposed to be. I know I wouldn't be ugly too if I was legitimately a part of this family. But it's ruining my life and I can't think of a time where I'll ever accept it and live with it it's so humiliating every second and just thinking about the fact that potentially I'd have kids someday, who would look like me (maybe my parents too) and they would just never know their mothers side of anything because I don't have it.

It makes me sad too that I can't continue the bloodline of my adoptive family and that it ends there with my adoptive parents. I always feel this way but I just felt extra sad today and had to get it out.