It hurts. I cant cope with this

If this sounds familiar i mostly just pasted my vents from my socials if people know me fromt that but changed my wording for some stuff

The world is so cruel it made me exist like this an a ugly depressed, hurt, mentally ill individual struggling with their identity, body and realizing how bad the culture they were born in is.

I hate my ugly body being with outdated toxic people irl and being my dam ethnicity and my body is gross i wanna be who i want. Im so chopped i cant talk to anyone without feeling like im gross. Im below everything else. Im worthless. I dont trust anyone in my personal life, i know im hated alot by them anyways as i get judged and nitpicked alot. and i dont have irl freinds anyways at all so i cling to the internet and venting. Often i need to stop to not break my dam mirror if i see myself and i even hate looking down and being reminded of myself World wanted to make me a chopped inbred scrawny lanky brown dude who cant even survive properly and is dependent and very poor and has no one in my life and is in a ugly body i dont want and surounded by a toxic culture i feel i cant escape. I hate my identity and being this body,ethnicity and being this i just cant cope i sometimes fill my head with delusions and laughs crazily then cry in the cellar curled. I hate everything about my life and the circumstances around me. I wish i had the body i want and could be who i want and had that life but the world never wanted me to be happy and i am destined to suffer for all my life and cant change my existence. I wish i had a magic button to just make me in the body and life i want and be who i want. I have over 4 diagnosed mental health issues and can count 10+ that i likely have too. I hate this body and my life,face,skin, this cruel culture that disregards my pain thinking im possesed and the horrible life im in i cant cope.

My life could have been so much different if everything surounding my birth and existence was different. Id be so happy but sadly its impossible to change my reality