My 34M wife 34F was exchanging inappropriate messages with her coworker (34M?), is the relationship over?

I’ve been working night shifts for a long while now. So I’m up in the night, asleep in the day. The drive to work is long to (1.5 hours one way). So we haven’t been talking that often. Although I always thought our relationship is not bad. We do get into arguments, and I’ll be honest that because of my night shifts at work and long commute, we haven’t been that intimate.

Last night I saw that my wife (Amy) was texting a coworker (Bob). Bob was referring to Amy as “you are my Amy <3” with hearts. And “I love you’s”. It seemed like a conservation, but Amy clearly deleted her side of the messages.

Bob was planning on meeting up with Amy in the evening at a restaurant today.

Last night I called Bob through Amy’s phone when I saw the messages. He picked up. I asked him who he is and why he’s texting my wife. I asked him for is address and said let’s meet up. He said we don’t need to meet up. I was really upset. I said no, by all means he wanted to meet with my wife, let’s meet up.

Anyways Amy told me to not go and meet up. Last night I told Amy to leave the house after I saw the messages and that I can start over, it’s not a problem. She said no. I told her again to leave, she said no. I told her to go back to her parents home, she said no. We were planning on having kids. I noticed she was dressing different recently but I didn’t think much of it. Is the relationship done?

TLDR; Last night I saw that my wife (Amy) was texting a coworker (Bob). Bob was referring to Amy as “you are my Amy <3” with hearts. And “I love you’s”. It seemed like a conservation, but Amy clearly deleted her side of the messages. They were planning on meeting up today evening at a restaurant. I told Amy to leave the house last night and I can start over it’s fine, told her to go back to her parents home. She declined. We were planning on having kids. I’ve been working night shifts a lot recently with a long commute so we’ve been distant. I did notice she was dressing differently also and acting different. Is the relationship done?