What was the last impuls for you to get clean and actually tried hard?

Pretty much the title. I've been a daily user of NEP, I'm an addict cause I've been taking it since 2022, last two years been smoking it out the pipe and past year I only had two breaks lasting about a week until I received another. I smoke about 1g a day. Yes. I know. I sleep every day, take care of myself, work, but obviously my body starts letting me know I should quit. I know I have a huge problem, the amount of shame and guilt is basically among other reasons that I don't socialise anymore and definitely will not date until I'm clean and have the addiction under control.

What's another problem that I tend to put on the side is my benzo dependace. I don't take it every day but need to before doing stuff like calling a bank or going for an interview or starting new job which is nothing hard for most people. Not even gonna talk about the amounts and my tolerance.

So the problem is, these two make me function. And I need to function. But I know I need to quit.

Please, share your stories, what was the impuls for you to quit for good? Even if you relapsed after but then keep getting clean.

Thank you.