My husband’s obsession with our dog is slowly destroying our marriage

I (37F) love our dog. He’s been with us for six years and is the sweetest, most loyal little soul. But for at least the last three years, my husband’s (35M) obsession with him has taken over our entire life.

We can’t go anywhere without the dog. We used to go out in the evenings, have date nights, or just explore the city together. Now, everything revolves around the dog — where he’ll be, how long he’ll be alone, whether he’ll get anxious. We can’t even go out for a few hours after 6 p.m. without it turning into a debate. At this point, I’ve stopped even trying.

Even at home, I have to be careful all the time. When we’re in bed, my husband constantly says, “Be careful with his paws,” as if I’d suddenly forget how to be gentle after six years. If I move wrong or suggest leaving the dog for a short while, he gets irritated or starts an argument.

My mom is coming this Thursday, and I told my husband I’d pick her up from the airport. He said he’ll take the day off and come with me — which means the dog will come too. And I don’t want that. I want to give my mom my full attention. Our dog is lovely but overexcited around people — jumping, whining, demanding constant attention. I already know I won’t be able to focus on my mom if he’s there. But I’m too afraid to tell my husband that because it would turn into a huge fight.

So I bottle everything up. Right now, it feels like I can choose only between being miserable alone in silence or fighting and hating each other.

I used to love having a pet. Now I feel trapped by it. It’s not the dog’s fault — it’s how my husband has turned it into something suffocating. All the affection that used to be between us feels redirected toward the dog. He cuddles him, talks to him sweetly all the time, and treats me like I’m just… there.

I feel guilty even writing this, but I resent the situation. I resent that something that should’ve brought us closer has become another reminder of how far apart we’ve grown.

We have other issues too, but this one feels like the symbol of everything that’s gone wrong. I’m not sure I’m even looking for advice — because I know what I’d tell someone else in my position: “You need to stand your ground and say the dog should stay home so you can focus on your mom.”

But it’s easy to say when you’re not the one who’ll face the reaction of your spouse. So I guess I’m just looking for reassurance — that I’m not crazy for feeling this way, and maybe to hear from anyone who’s been through something similar