I Want to Fall Back in Love

I posted on here about 8 months ago, asking for people to tell me when they fell BACK in love with their spouse. I'm still in the same spot emotionally and am looking for some guidance.

My husband is a good man, and usually a good father. We've been together 10 years, married almost 8. If I'm honest with myself, I haven't felt LOVE for him in about two years. However, we really started to struggle after our youngest (now 1) was born.

For the first 9 years of our relationship, I put in all the work in terms of romantics. We've now been going to counseling for about six months, and he is definitely trying. He's much more affectionate, has even planned a date, and is much more vocal about his emotions. All of that is great. But I'm ... stuck. I can't get to a place where I feel romantic feelings towards him. I love him as a human being, and as my friend and family member. But while he enjoys sex, it's a chore for me (and my libido used to be higher than his).

He's still not great with some of his mood things. When he comes home from a bad day of work, he takes it out on everyone (not physically, but with a short fuse). We also still have a drastically different arguing style, even though we've been specifically discussing it in therapy.

In addition to the marriage counseling, I've begun going to personal therapy to figure out if this is an "us" problem, or a "me" problem -- as in, I can't get over old resentments from a variety of things that I dealt with alone (miscarriages, IVF, moving multiple times, being far from my family who I'm close to). We've been going on more date nights, focusing on having phones off when we're together, and being more communicative. Again, all great, but not changing that feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I want to fall back in love. I've read so many posts on here about the ebb and flow of relationships, and how it's completely normal to fall out of love with your spouse and then fall back in. But I also don't want to waste both of our lives waiting to see if I am able to fall back in love with him. How long is a normal time to be out of love with your partner? Am I spinning my wheels here? What else can I do?