what can i do to actually relax?

i feel like everything is exhausting. i don’t know if it’s the weather, or the state of the world, or burnout, or just life, but i don’t know what to do anymore. i have the urge to be busy, but the second i’m doing something, i wish i weren’t doing anything because i’m so tired. my motivation is so low, but if i’m doing nothing, it feels even worse.

i am a big movie watcher, gamer, etc., but everything feels like a chore at this point. the things i love to do exhaust me — to the point where i wind up just laying in bed scrolling on my phone when i have any free time — which then makes me feel worse because i was unproductive and unhappy while doing it. its like an overwhelming sense of boredom that is unsatisfiable, to the point where it makes me angry. i spend so much of my day stuck in my head that by the time i’m done with my “me” time i feel like i just ran a mental marathon.

i have a history of depression and anxiety, so i am not stranger to mental health. however it’s getting to the point where just merely getting through the day feels like a task.

i typically thrive on feeling like i am serving some purpose greater than myself, though at this point i don’t even feel like i care to do that anymore.

meditation only goes so far when you can’t turn your brain off. i smoke, but even that seems to have less of a relaxation effect these days. so what can i do to actually relieve my mind and relax? has anyone had any success in fighting their way out of this?