She was 9 years older, but our souls felt the same age.

I fell in love with someone who’s 9 years older than me (wlw). What’s new to me is that I’ve never felt something this deep before. I’ve never fallen in love with someone I just met online. At first, I found her very attractive after seeing her in a segment I was watching. I felt an emotional connection with her just by watching. Funny thing is, I saw her from someone’s live (she was with that person in the segment).

Since that day, I never wasted a chance to talk to her in the comment section. I made her laugh with my silliest jokes and stayed up until 6 a.m. because she had a lot to do, and going live was her way of relaxing because it made her happy somehow. I told her I liked her but never messaged her privately. Knowing her more made me love her even deeper than I expected.

That feeling kept growing. I tried not to think too much about it since I felt so far from her like I could never reach her. We had so much fun on TikTok live and later decided to talk on IG, where we shared jokes and stories about our days. The day we had a deep talk changed everything. It felt like we’d known each other for years. We were emotionally connected.

I tried to stop myself from feeling more because I felt like I didn’t have much to offer... I’m still a college student, while she’s already working and experienced in life. I’m also not used to loving someone I just met online. She would even tease me, saying if that’s my problem, then I should just date her and meet her. She’s open about having ADHD, and I never had any issue with that. She also said she doesn’t mind that I’m still studying because she believes I’ll be successful someday if I just work hard since, as she said, I’m “smart.”

As time passed, I fell deeper. She once lost motivation for work, but I was always there for her. She thanked me for giving her the drive to keep going. Everything was fine until I made a joke about her “ghosting” me. It was just a joke, I knew how busy she was, but it triggered her. She said, “Maybe it’s really because of the age gap. You’re mature, but you still say things like that.”

It really hit her, like everything we built just collapsed. I started to wonder, maybe she was just overwhelmed and tired from all her tasks. She told me she might “ghost” everyone for a while, and I said I understand. Still, I feel so lost right now. I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore. She suddenly disappeared… and I feel like crying.

Any advice on how to get through this?