When it rains it pours

Guys, it’s been a ROUGH couple of weeks and my OCD is only making it worse.

Here’s what I’ve been dealing with over the past two weeks.

• getting the flu that lasted a week
• moving into a new house while my current townhouse has no WiFi or heat upstairs
• my fiancée getting into a car accident (she’s ok)
• getting into a fight with my in-laws and my fiancee having to cut them off because they won’t stop asking us for money
• learning my friend that has cancer now only has three months to live, and that she made me her medical power of attorney without my consent
• got a flat tire this morning and have to miss even more work

So then on top of all of that, my OCD is torturing me more than usual. I’m using my ERP skills constantly but I can feel myself just wearing thinner and thinner and I have no way to relax.

My contamination OCD is the worst. There’s boxes piled all over my house, it’s impossible to feel clean, and I can barely eat because my OCD is really convincing me that every bite is full of deadly bacteria.

My moral OCD screams at me that I’m a failure, and that all these terrible things have happened because I’m a bad person who deserves all of it. And my compulsions to optimize every minute of my day are unrelenting, and I get so caught up in deciding what the most efficient way to do something is that I don’t even start it.

Sorry for the long rant, I usually have my OCD a lot more under control, but the stress is getting to me and OCD only rubs salt in my wounds.

I hope everyone is having an easier time than I am. Lots of love ❤️