M29 F29 I messed up. Where to go from here?

Hello all, I am in such a situation that I do not know what to do or where to go, other than asking for advice, and getting some things off my chest. Two months ago, my girlfriend (also 29), and the mother of my two young daughters found out about some things I was doing online with another woman. Nothing at all about what I was doing was right. I’m completely aware of my wrongdoings, and the hurt that they have caused. I was buying nudes from this woman, behind her back. I know this is a disgusting act, and honestly very embarrassing to say the least. I never saw this woman in person. We never even had conversation of anything more than what that was. I never wanted this woman in a way where I would’ve left my girlfriend and family behind. I would have never considered meeting up with her either. I felt awful every time I did it but was drawn back in somehow someway to do it multiple times. I stopped all contact. There has been nothing more at all happen since January 2025. This has been the worst two months of my life. I am living a life full of regret and just constantly wanting to be better for her. I truly am trying hard to earn back trust and get us back to where we were before. She is still living here at the house. However, she’s constantly saying she doesn’t want me. She doesn’t want to be here. She wants to leave. Now I know that my choices have gotten me in this situation. I do not deserve her, but I know in my heart that she is all that I want. I can’t imagine my life without her and cannot define myself from these poor choices that I’ve made that have caused her so much anguish and hurt. There are days where I feel progress is being made, but it’s a cycle of on and off days for sure. I try and talk to her about the good days and she doesn’t really give me any type of satisfaction. She says things could only get better for me but not for her. I just refuse to give up. I want to feel there is hope for us. Please help/ talk. Thank you